"I know that my Redeemer Lives" but do I really have to play (again)?

The rest of the story...
Seminary graduation was over. I was so relieved! I really liked the song I played but I didn't want to play it again for quite some time. It was over and I was done!
Well, one night we were playing the game Risk as a family and the phone rings. Need I say that... it was for me. (sigh) And it was a counselor in our Bishopric. (double sigh) He, in a round about way, asked me to play the song I had played at seminary graduation the next Sunday for Ali's farewell. Now, my mom had always taught me that you never say no to a church calling, or a talk, or a prayer. In other words, don't say no to a member of the Bishopric. (oh NO!) Because that principle was so ingrained in me I reluctantly said "yes." These were my thoughts - "I've played it before. It's just my own ward. I know pretty much everyone there. I'M NOT THAT NERVOUS." HA! Was I wrong or what!
I went to practice it on the piano in the chapel the Saturday before and, boy, was I nervous. I could hardly play it. I thought I could do it without God's help and I was so wrong. I was nervous, shaking and panicking (to say the least). I knew I was going to completely slaughter it. I had no right to ask God to help me the last minute. But I did ask for His help. I prayed so hard. I knew that it was Him that had made it go so well before. And I knew that I could not do it without Him.
The next day (which was Sunday) I went early to church so I could practice some more. I still was so nervous. I messed up so bad. But I trusted that God would be with me. When the time came I went up there, sat down and played. It went so well. Oh, it sounded so beautiful. But for a second I thought "I'm doing so well." And, well, I played a note wrong in the last chord. I went back to my seat and was shaking so bad. I knew that God had helped me. I hadn't deserved it but He had helped me. I had thought I could do it on my own and I was mistaken. Even though I had played the last note wrong, God had helped me and I was so grateful for that.
After the meeting was over I went up to my piano teacher, who was there to hear Alex, and I told her that I had played the last note wrong and she said that she could not tell. I thought "If my piano teacher couldn't tell then, wow, no one must have." So many people came up and said that it was wonderful, beautiful and great. My Aunt Zell said that she just loved that song and she had heard it twice! One uncle said that I did so well and it almost made him cry. One lady from the ward said that it was "straight from Heaven."
Even though I didn't deserve God's help, He did help me. I know that God loves me. I know that God won't leave us to fend for ourselves. If He sees you to it, He'll see you through it. I know that God wants to help us in our lives. I know that He will help us through anything. He is our Father and He loves us so very much. I want to always trust in Him, always love Him and do what He asks me to do, no matter how hard it is, because He will not leave me alone.
I know that Christ lives! I know that He loves us so much. I know that the Atonement is real and because of that we can repent, change and become better. I'm so very grateful for it. And I'm grateful for these experiences. They have helped me grow and trust God more.

I know that they live!!

"I know that my Redeemer lives" but do I really have to play?

So I played the piano for seminary graduation AND Ali's farewell.

Here is the first part of the story...
It was about 2 weeks before the seminary graduation. Ali had given a talk for hers and I thought it would be kinda fun if I gave one too but since it was really close I thought "there is no way I'm going to do anything." So I wasn't expecting anything. Well, next thing I know I get a call from this girl who I have no clue who she was and she asks me to play a musical number for the graduation. I seriously didn't know what to think (or say). I'm sure I was silent for at least a whole ENTIRE minute as I thought about what she was telling me and what to say. So I told her yes (very hesitantly) and told her I would call her to tell her what song I would play.
I scrounged around looking for something to play. I finally picked a piece that was fairly easy because I knew that would probably be so nervous that I could hardly play it and also because it was the song that I could be the most expressive in. After I found the piece I was going to call the girl but because I was in so much shock when I got the call, I could not remember her name and couldn't find her number. So I had to call a counselor in the Stake Presidency to get her info. I didn't feel too confident with the piece because when I played it, it was only about about 2 1/2 minutes long. So I asked him if it would be okay so short. He asked what it was and I told him "I Know that My Redeemer Lives". He told me, in his quiet, calm voice, "that will be wonderful." I can't tell you how happy those few words made me feel.
So, I called her, got everything in order and it was about a week before the big event. I was so nervous! Every time I practiced the piece I would just shake and, oh, it was so bad. I thought I would not even play one right note. But I knew that God would help me. He could help me play it well and He could give me comfort, confidence and peace. I prayed so hard. I prayed that I would be able to perform well and to help those I played for feel the Spirit and my testimony. I worked on the piece so much but I felt so inadequate. I got a father's blessing and felt alot better. But when I practiced it I would still get so nervous and played so poorly. I knew that I had worked hard, maybe not all I could have, but hard. I had prayed about it and I had gotten a blessing and so all I could do now was to trust. So I trusted in God with everything. I put my all in His hands and went forward.
That night as I practiced I still was so nervous. We had a little mix-up with the time so when I thought I was going about 15 minutes early to play on the piano, I actually was an hour and 15 minutes early. I sat on the stand for about an hour before it started and it kinda helped me de-stress a little to see all the people and get used to their faces. I was first on the program, which was a blessing in and of itself. When I sat down on the bench I felt calm and peaceful. I started playing and it went so well. I think I only played about 1 wrong note. I felt like it went so quickly. And, oh, it went so well. When I sat down, the girl I was sitting next said it was just beautiful. Afterwards so many people told me that it was wonderful. One lady from our stake, who is really musically talented, came up and told me that she just had to sit back, close her eyes and soak it in. That is was truly beautiful. I know that God was there with me, playing with me. I could not have to done it half as well if He had not helped me. I was so happy. My Father in Heaven is so good to me.
I like the song I played best because I felt like that was my testimony. I do know that Christ lives. I had just read in the Book of Mormon about when Christ came to the Americas. As I played I could just see that. I could feel how much He loves me. How He loves us all and cares for us all "one by one." That song was my testimony of Him. I'm glad that it's over but so glad that I was able to have this experience.

tomorrow I'll get the next part

Yesterday my family and I went to the Draper open house. What an amazing experience!!!
I was in awe walking through it because of the beauty in the temple. Temples are such wonderful places. They are the house of the Lord and are the most beautiful places in the world. You can just tell it is God's house.
There is such a wonderful feeling there. A feeling like home, like you belong. There is a peace you usually don't feel in the world. You just know that God does live. You know that He loves you and that you are His child. How could it be otherwise? It feels too right to be wrong!!
I know that the church is true. I know that we have temples so that we can grow closer to God. I know that He lives!!

I stand all amazed...

Picture by Adam Abram

I saw this picture a couple of days ago and just fell in love with it . It touches me to my inner most parts . It's amazing how the artist captures Christ's agony, how truly painful it was. Usually we see pictures of Christ in the garden of Gethsemane and he is praying very calmly... no pain, no anguish, just serene and peaceful. But Christ himself says that the "...suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

"Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men." (D&C 19:18-19)

President Joseph Fielding Smith stated:

“One of the greatest sins, both in magnitude and extent … is the sin of ingratitude. When we violate a commandment, no matter how small and insignificant we may think it to be, we show our ingratitude to our Redeemer. It is impossible for us to comprehend the extent of his suffering when he carried the burden of the sins of the whole world, a punishment so severe that we are informed that blood came from the pores of his body, and this was before he was taken to the cross. The punishment of physical pain coming from the nails driven in his hands and feet, was not the greatest of his suffering, excruciating as that surely was. The greater suffering was the spiritual and mental anguish coming from the load of our transgressions which he carried. If we understood the extent of that suffering and his suffering on the cross, surely none of us would willfully be guilty of sin. We would not give way to the temptations, the gratification of unholy appetites and desires and Satan could find no place in our hearts. As it is, whenever we sin, we show our ingratitude and disregard of the suffering of the Son of God by and through which we shall rise from the dead and live forever. If we really understood and could feel even to a small degree, the love and gracious willingness on the part of Jesus Christ to suffer for our sins we would be willing to repent of all our transgressions and serve him." (The Restoration of All Things (1945), 199)

I think we all need to be more grateful for Christ's atonement. I think that we all can change things in our lives, to show our gratitude for His suffering. We need to be more willing to do as He would do. To act as He would act. To think as He would think. This picture reminds me of the love that Christ has for me. And compels me to change the things in my life that I need to, to be more like Him.

I love Him so much and am so very grateful for His love for me. I know that Christ suffered in the garden and on the cross because He loves us. He just wants the best for us.

I hope and pray that all of us will try to remember Him more in our lives.

A Brand New Year

The church had this huge youth production called "A Brand New Year". I watched the DVD of it just last Tuesday and absolutely love it! It has the best music. And they have a website that has the songs on it and you can even watch the production! You can look at my side bar and click on "A Brand New Year" for the website.

ENJOY!!!